Vaccine shamer!

We’ve heard about people getting shamed for jumping lines and cheating to get their vaccine, but what about shaming someone for not getting it?

Last month a good friend of our family sent me a text letting me know he had an appointment to get his first vaccine. I’d been working on convincing him to get the vaccine for a few months as he was eligible first because he’s a paramedic/firefighter alongside my husband. His daughter is like another child to me, and since this pandemic has started it’s been difficult getting the kids together because we have a handful of people in my family with underlying health conditions, including a daughter living with a heart condition. So, I was very happy that he’d decided to get the vaccine because this would be one step closer to us getting together comfortably again.

Once I became eligible for the vaccine, I quickly scheduled my appointment, and let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. I’m a person who watches everything I put in my body, and getting this vaccine made me nervous. The introduction to anything strange in my body always causes an uproar. Having autoimmune disease, I knew I’d be taking a chance on possible flare-ups because not enough studies were done on people with those disorders. I reminded myself that my husband, mother, and other family members had received the vaccine. We were all getting it, and knowing this gave me added courage to follow through.

That morning it was a challenge to force myself out of bed, but I got into the the car and drove myself to the community center for my Moderna shot. Everyone there was amazing, and much of my anxiety faded by the time I landed in the chair for my vaccine. Driving home, I had some arm soreness and fatigue, but for the most part everything was fine. The following week was a different story. All hell broke loose when what seems like an autoimmune flare took over my body and threw me into a hyperthyroid state. I had trouble sleeping for a week and had many strange heart arrhythmias which almost always became worse in the middle of the night. Palpitations, anxiety, feeling overheated and overwhelmed—It was like the absolute worst all over again. These symptoms had been non-existent for quite a long time. I told myself that no matter what, I did the right thing, because I do believe that I’ve given myself some form of protection against this unpredictable virus. I’d done my part to help prevent myself from infecting others. I’m still dealing with the after effects of whatever happened inside my body.

My friend’s excuse from the beginning is that he doesn’t trust the vaccine. He doesn’t trust the government either and feels that the vaccine won’t do anything for him or change what he’s doing now. I’ll admit, it does seem like we’ve all been in ‘learn-and-go’ mode since this thing started, but to me, him skipping the vaccine is unacceptable. He has no underlying health issues other than being a little overweight, and he just doesn’t have a good argument in my mind to not get the vaccine. Going on ambulance calls and frequent trips in and out of the hospital obviously puts him at higher risk. Why wouldn’t he get the vaccine? He understands how serious viruses can be, and he’s taken scads of people to the hospital who have died from this virus. Isn’t he concerned about his little daughter? I’ll also point out that he has many family members with serious medical conditions.

After I received my vaccine, he praised me via text, and then told me he’d decided against getting vaccinated once again, even though he was scheduled. Needless to say, it upset me. We got into a heated conversation about it and how ridiculous I thought it was. All I continued to think about was how many handfuls of needles our kids have been impaled with due to vaccinations, and here we are balking at one measly shot. Rather than think about why he didn’t want the vaccine, all I could think about was why he needed it. This isn’t just about him; it’s about all of us. Aren’t we important? Aren’t we worth it?

The subject was dropped. I decided to let it go because of course it isn’t right to hold it against him, but inside it does niggle me. Getting back to normal is important to me, and I do want all of our children to be safe. Nobody is 100% protected from this virus—not even kids. We all have the looming threat over our heads. Often we don’t know who will be severely affected by it until it’s too late. To me the vaccine makes sense.

With that said, “what’s good for one person isn’t necessarily good for another” has always been one of my favorite quotes. I’m a firm believer in it, but getting this vaccination was more about protecting others (like my family) than it was protecting myself.

What are your thoughts? Do you believe in the vaccines? Is vaccine shaming wrong? Shouldn’t we be thinking about others and not just ourselves here?

❤️ Mischenko

51 thoughts on “Vaccine shamer!

  1. I think guilting or shaming anyone over anything is bad. I don’t like vaccines, but I did get one. I don’t have the right to expect anyone to do anything. I don’t want to be guilted or shamed into anything. I don’t like peer pressure at all.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It does seem bad, and I’ll be honest and say that this (for me) is mostly an issue for those in my circle—those that we spend a lot of time with and love. I don’t believe in peer pressure either, but I think it’s easier and even more acceptable to talk about these issues with people we’re close to because we aren’t afraid to share our disagreements. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I understand everyone’s thoughts on this, but in the end…would you tell your kid that they should do something because their friends thought it was right, though in their heart they didn’t believe it so?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Good point. Definitely not. I would also hope that my kids would do something right, even when their friends think it’s wrong. It’s difficult for me to think that doing something as simple as getting a vaccine is wrong, especially when I was at an elevated risk and still did it. In the end, people need to do what they feel is right though. I agree, and we won’t hate on our friend for it. For me, I’m willing to do what I can to protect those around me.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. The problem is if something is wrong with the vaccine. I’m willing to take the risk. But it is a risk. I figure I don’t know enough about anything to tell someone else what to do. But I totally see all sides of this isdue

          Liked by 1 person

        3. Exactly, it is a risk for everyone when you think about it. It’s scary! Trust me, I’m a person who lives with anxiety, and uncertainly is never easy for me. 😂 I can agree with both sides and won’t deny that, and it’s very interesting seeing other perspectives on it.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Your conversations with your friend are not about shaming. It’s more about sharing how much you care about him. I don’t harp on getting the vaccine with anyone other than those I care about.

    I’m frankly at a loss for how this got so politicized. My husband is an infectious disease expert so I come at this a bit differently than most. What if people had reacted as so many have today when the polio vaccine was administered? This is just common sense (to me) and I wish those opting not to get the vaccine would listen to that inner voice that I’m sure is trying to be heard.

    I applaud you getting the vaccine given your health issues. Since it was definitely going to trigger your autoimmune system, the likelihood you’d have side effects was high. But getting the virus would be even more of a risk.

    FYI, my dear cousin had decided not to get the vaccine. We descended upon her like locusts. She got her first dose last week😏

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Me neither, Jonetta. This has mainly been an issue with those in my circle like you mention.
      Our kids get so many vaccines…it’s just insane. Sometimes they get stuck with 2-3 different needles at one time. It’s difficult for me to understand how people are willing to overlook that but not this one.
      I’m glad your cousin got vaccinated. 👍 Interesting that your husband is an infectious disease expert! You’ve likely had some interesting conversations. Thanks for sharing your thoughts which are always

      Liked by 2 people

      1. My hubby made us shelter in place soon after the news of the outbreak in China reached us. He told me, in that moment, we were officially in the beginning of a global pandemic. He’s not one for hyperbole so that got my attention. I had no capacity for understanding what that meant and even though he explained it, I couldn’t grasp the concept. By January 2019, he was ordering us masks and disinfectant. We never ran out and started sheltering in place at that time so I’ve been isolated for a long, long time. Getting the vaccine (we are done) feels liberating!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Wow. You all got a real early start! That was so smart to get prepared before it got really crazy. I think it was February when my son flew in from LA and I told everyone (including our close friend) that this virus was going to sweep the US. Everyone, along with my husband, laughed at me. It’s been a long journey! I don’t think any of us expected it to get as crazy as it did.

          I’m happy to hear you guys were able to stay safe, Jonetta. I don’t get my second shot until the 22nd. I’ve contemplated skipping it with all these symptoms I’ve had, but I’m planning on following through. To me the kids getting their vaccinations is going to be the game changer. I look forward to that liberating feeling!

          Liked by 1 person

        2. I’ve heard the case of younger people having more symptoms due to a stronger immune response. My oldest son (21) had some fatigue and even leg aches after the first. I’ve also heard others talk about how their symptoms were strong with the second dose, yet no symptoms with the first. My cousin who has a much more serious autoimmune condition was told to only get the J&J. For me the shot offering the most protection was the one to get. I’m a little nervous thinking that maybe it will be crazier after the next dose, or even the same, but you give me hope. Thank you.

          Liked by 1 person

      1. I still have an itchy arm over a month later. My hot, red and sore arm (for 3 weeks) was reported to AstraZeneca by my GP. The powers-that-be are not sure whether the vaccine causes blood clots in the brain. That’s enough reasons for me.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh wow, I didn’t even realize the AstraZeneca vaccine was two doses. I did hear about the clots though. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Do you at least get some protection from getting one shot?

          Liked by 1 person

  3. starjustin

    I feel better that I received the 2 part dose of Moderna. Of course, we still have to protect ourselves and others even so.
    The vaccine, at this point, is not a total answer but I do believe it’s a beginning.
    I,too, have a couple people I am very close to that are refusing the vaccine and also, to wear masks etc. I can only do for myself, not others. They have to see the importance of the vaccine and they don’t right now. 💉

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’m glad you received both. You’re right; we can always protect ourselves, but we can’t force others to do what we want them to. I hope those you care about stay safe and healthy. ❤️ Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. We’ve had vacccines for various things for years, most have taken advantage of them but some haven’t. I think it will always be that way but personally speaking, when it comes to the question of protecting not just myself but those I love as well, there was no question about having the vaccine.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, but I’m getting my second dose in ten hours. By tomorrow, hubby and I and both our sons will be fully vaccinated. It’s a big sense of relief for us. Hope you’re feeling better now!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. We Japanese are way too late to the vaccine party and the inoculation process has just kicked off here; starting off with medical professionals such as doctors, nurses, and front-line workers.
    Municipalities have started out sending out ‘vaccine tickets’ to those eligible (aged 65 and over) and it’s expected to expand to the general public in late June or early July.
    As an individual with an autoimmune disorder (rheumatism), I kind of expect to be moved up in the waiting list and be able to get a jab; yet I know there are a lot of reluctant or sceptic about getting vaccinated. Vaccine hesitancy and distrust are deeply entrenched here due to several cases of severe side effects (allergic reactions) and deaths related to inoculation drives in the past. Most of them seem to worry about side effects but to me, it feels even selfish to me. As you put it, I deem receiving vaccine is the part we need to play to protect our society. Yes, you may have a strong side effect and fall ill – yet which is better than having side effects but be able to protect your loved ones, or be safe yourself but have others contracted the virus and inadvertently (or willingly) force them to social distancing even further? To me, it’s no brainer; I will get the jab – no question at all.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s interesting that you are having many of the same problems we are having here, Noriko. I feel the same as you though. Obviously no side effects is always best, but some of us won’t have that luxury. It’s worth it to me to protect those around me and to protect myself. It’s really the only control we have over this virus, unless we just act as though we don’t care and take the chance at getting sick, and in turn infecting others. Everyone has different views, but I’m with you. I want to get back together comfortably and safely. Thanks for sharing. 💜

      Liked by 2 people

  7. I think vaccinations always come with controversary and people refusing them. I always thought the distrust is silly, but everyone wants to have a choice. I kind of get that part but I still shake my head and roll my eyes when I hear of people deciding against it. Me and my little family are all one shot in and it never was a question for us. We want to move forward and toward normalcy much more than we want to be rebellious.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree that we all should have the freedom to choose, Tessa. There does always seem to be controversy too, just like with mask wearing. Personally, I’m taking others into account and not just myself. Really hopeful we can all stay safe and just get through this. It’s been a long haul. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Interesting read on your blog. Thanks for sharing. I was concerned about the lack of information surrounding the experimental COVID injection you were compelled to get and how you didn’t know that it is NOT a vaccine. According to the CDC’s definition of a vaccine, along with the standard historical understanding of vaccines, the COVID jabby is not a vaccine. It is a new type of medical treatment in line with gene manipulation – not introducing a biological, viral component (i.e., a fragment of a depleted influenza virus) to cause an immune system response and the triggering of the appropriate antibodies and or T cells. It is an entirely new and very different (experimental) approach to dealing with viruses. Also, unlike an actual vaccine, the COVID jabby is a permanent altering of your genome. In essence, those that choose to get the COVID jabby, are volunteering to participate in a broad gene therapy experiment and have become walking and talking GMO’s. FYI, the jabby is not approved by the FDA. It is released under an emergency use status. Also, insurance companies and BIG PHARMA are not liable for damages because of the emergency use status. It is important to note that there is substantial medical opinion speaking out against the experimental COVID injection, including whistleblowers from the Gates Foundation and Pfizer issuing dire warnings. Frontline Doctors and Great Barrington Declaration (https://gbdeclaration.org/) are quality sources for the facts about the experimental COVID injection. There are many others. Del Bigtree’s Highwire is a very popular, easy-to-digest source of information. Lastly, I don’t know why so many are misinformed about the experimental COVID injection. According to Dr. Fauci, it is not guaranteed to prevent you from getting or spreading COVID, and after the COVID injection, there’s no guarantee that things will get back to normal. There are many, many cases already of individuals that received the injection and got COVID afterward. Fauci and Big Pharma are boasting that the injections will have a 95% success against COVID. They say this without any scientific studies to back it up. More interesting is that they brag about a fictional 95% success for the COVID injection, while the CDC’s COVID Survival rates for those not injected are at 99.95%. That means the average person’s immune system is guaranteeing much more remarkable success against COVID. There is never just one way to deal with a problem. A diversity of views and research will always provide the best solution. Respect others and their views on medical care. Each of us should be responsible for ourselves. Forcing medical beliefs on others is wrong. BTW, there are entire countries and many states here in our country that have not locked down, don’t wear masks, refuse the experimental COVID injection, and have fantastic success against the virus.

    With respect and appreciation, Brian

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, Brian! Great to hear from you. I’ve put my trust in the ‘experts’ as far as the safety of the vaccine. It wasn’t easy because this pandemic spawned so many conspiracy theories, and it seems like half the time even the experts don’t know what they’re talking about. *sigh* They say one thing, and the next day they say something else. We’ve all been dealing with the ‘infodemic’ since this started.

      The vaccines may not be a traditional, but they’re still being referred to as a vaccine and that’s why I call it that. I’ve read about much of what you state here about how the MRNA vaccines works, and also that the method has been been studied for a decade, but I’ll definitely check out the links you provided as well. I’m always seeking the truth. 😉

      For now, I personally want to believe that the vaccines work, and I want to believe that they’re safe. Are they though? I suppose we are all different and will react differently to them. Some won’t do well just like some don’t do well with the actual virus Covid-19. I assumed the survival rates were a tad lower than what you have posted here. That’s very interesting!

      You’ve opened my eyes to a lot over the years, Brian, and you know I appreciate it! Thanks so much for all the helpful information you posted.

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  9. Pingback: Have You Been Vaccinated? | Authentically 50 ~ Embracing Life's Changes

  10. What I really appreciate about your post is that you are unafraid to put your opinion out there (because you are entitled to it) and that those who are responding are respectful, even if they don’t agree!!! Civil discourse is how we learn from one another.

    In my opinion, everyone has the right to make a choice. And every choice has a consequence.

    So in my case…I’ve gotten my first Moderna vaccination. Let’s say someone I loved and was important to my family refused to get it (which is their right). What next? Well, I have several options as consequences…I could continue to distance from them or even “cancel” our friendship, or I could see them, but only using masks and social distancing (whatever conditions I put forward), etc…. These might be two choices I could make based on their actions.

    Eventhough we hope our friends are always on the same page, and more than that, we hope their actions won’t cause us to have to make tough decisions, we know that doesn’t always happen! We can only control our choices, our actions. In your situation, you are still in control of what happens next.

    In terms of shaming, there isn’t one definition or synonym associated with that word that is positive. Bullying, humiliating, embarrassing, chastizing someone into taking a action (one I deem as essential) is not an option for me because shaming is a place where anger and hurt and heartbreak will likely fester for all involved.

    Thanks again for sharing your opinions, Jen! They got me thinking about my own!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You know I always appreciate your thoughts, Julia, and I enjoy seeing all perspectives on this issue, regardless of whether we agree or not. I’ve considered how we will move forward from this, and it will be difficult, but I’m sure it’ll be manageable. Despite our friend’s profession, surprisingly, he doesn’t like to wear masks. It’s my belief that he’ll respect us and wear one if we ask him too.

      I have to agree with you on the word ‘shaming’ because it certainly isn’t a nice word. Our conversation never came to a fight, but it was still uncomfortable. This honestly stems from our love for him and his daughter. They’re so important to this family. I’ve always had my loved ones in mind and just wanted to do what’s right for all of us.

      Thank you so much for sharing your views, Julia. I’m glad you were able to get your first shot. Hope it all goes well for you. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Shaming does sound so wrong and I don’t think it applies to what you were trying to do with your friend. Your intentions were from a good place. That said, I hope to get the vaccine though I likely won’t qualify because I am breastfeeding and have heard its not allowed for us. However, I still submitted my application. If the hospital says no then I guess that’s that. I do think the vaccine is really important though and I am glad that most of my family and friends are getting it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Diana. Shaming does seem like a harsh word. I have a friend who is pregnant and she’s waiting to get her vaccine until after the baby’s born. I’ve not heard anything about breastfeeding though. It’s excellent that those closest to you are getting the vaccine. Stay safe and thanks for sharing! 💜

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  12. I agree with Jonetta’s comment, Jen. I do not think you were shaming him, but expressing your concerns and views. I see nothing wrong with that. I congratulate you on getting your vaccination, even knowing there would be side effects. I pray that they settle down for you soon. I have a few friends, not many, that are not getting the vaccine. I will only get together with them outside and with a mask. If they choose not to do that, then we will not see each other. I can only protect myself, not force anyone else to agree with me. Fortunately, my close friends and family are all pro-vaccine and will get theirs as soon as it is available to them. I have had my first dose. Stay safe. 😷

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Same here, Carla. We know a considerable amount of people who aren’t getting it. I’m glad the people you’re closest too are getting the vaccine though. That’s wonderful! Take care, and thank you for sharing. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s interesting. Are you like in a waiting mode or just not getting it at all? I know a lot of people who aren’t getting it—neighbors, friends, and even people who are involved in healthcare. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. At all. We don’t feel comfortable being guinea pigs for an experimental vaccine(s). Once there’s been a couple of years of data, then we’ll think about it and probably treat it like the flu vaxx.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I understand. I’m pretty sure the J&J vaccine is more of a traditional vaccine vs. the other MRNA vaccines. Not sure if it’s exactly like the flu shot, but my cousin received that one and had zero issues. Looking back I wish I would’ve gone with that one, but I’ll hope for the best with the Moderna this time around. Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts.

          Liked by 1 person

  13. Everyone wants to ‘be free to choose’ and ‘its my right’ until they/someone close to them is infected either due to them or something else. It’s ridiculous. The same people snap on a seatbelt when they get in the car. No, you don’t have to get it, and Im not shaming anyone, but your decision comes with the consequences of not being invited to my house! ✌🏾

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Good points. For my family, we aren’t taking chances. I think for me it just really hit me hard that someone so close to us wouldn’t think twice about getting it, and just flat-out refuses. I’m willing to take the risk for my loved ones. Thanks for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Thoughtful post, as always, M, and I’ve definitely been thinking about all of the things you questioned. Normally I’m a live and let live kind of person, but this is a community issue, not an individual one, and that’s where the line is drawn for me. At the end of the day, with elderly family members and my own health issues, I am grateful for a vaccine that offers some protection. ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

  15. The propaganda, through the media and politicians, creating a massive amount of one-direction information system (Many are bringing additional information to light.), emotionalizes people to think a certain way, and they feel an overwhelming peer pressure, or the appearance of such, and thus adjust their own belief systems. It’s like mass hypnotism, and once a person “decides” to believe something, and it’s supported by those close, they think it’s their idea. And at that point, they can no longer think for themselves. They don’t dare, because the base of their “happiness” comes from belonging, but what is it they belong to is the question.

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