Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

Blurb:
This is a memoir about growing up Korean American, losing her mother, and forging her own identity.
In this story of family, food, grief, and endurance, Michelle Zauner proves herself far more than a singer, songwriter, and guitarist. With humor and heart, she tells of growing up the only Asian American kid at her school in Eugene, Oregon; of struggling with her mother’s particular, high expectations of her; of a painful adolescence; of treasured months spent in her grandmother’s tiny apartment in Seoul, where she and her mother would bond, late at night, over heaping plates of food.
As she grew up, moving to the East Coast for college, finding work in the restaurant industry, and performing gigs with her fledgling band–and meeting the man who would become her husband–her Koreanness began to feel ever more distant, even as she found the life she wanted to live. It was her mother’s diagnosis of terminal pancreatic cancer, when Michelle was twenty-five, that forced a reckoning with her identity and brought her to reclaim the gifts of taste, language, and history her mother had given her.
My thoughts:
This touching memoir written by Michelle Zauner is about growing up as a Korean-American in the United States, her sometimes complicated relationship with her parents, and her experience of losing her mom to advanced pancreatic cancer. After having a tumultuous relationship with her mother growing up, she longs to cure her mother and to heal their relationship. As she navigates through this difficult time feeling pain and grief, she uses Korean foods she holds dear to commemorate her mother by learning how to cook them, while reflecting on memories of her childhood.
“Food was how my mother expressed her love. No matter how critical or cruel she could seem—constantly pushing me to meet her intractable expectations—I could always feel her affection radiating from the lunches she packed and the meals she prepared for me just the way I liked them.”
I first heard about this book on NPR and knew it was a memoir I couldn’t pass up. Cancer is something that has plagued my own family, and I was interested in the cultural aspects of the book as well. I’d never heard of Michelle Zauner or her band (Japanese Breakfast), so I was intrigued.
Crying in H Mart turned out to be a beautiful, well-written and thought-provoking memoir. This wasn’t a memoir that had me bawling my eyes out from beginning to end, but it hit me in waves, forcing me to put the book down and return to it. It’s emotional, and it transfixed me—sending me into reflections of past relationships with members of my own family—reminding me of how we should never take family for granted. No one is guaranteed any specific amount of time here, and we have to live each day like it’s our last together.
“The boy’s mom placed pieces of beef from her spoon onto his. He is quiet and looks tired and doesn’t talk to her much. I want to tell him how much I miss my mother. How he should be kind to his mom, remember that life is fragile and she could be gone at any moment.”
It was easy to relate to Michelle’s relationship with particular Korean foods and the cooking she grew up with. The connection to her Korean heritage was through her mom. I’m one of the last people in my family to prepare specific recipes from my Syrian side—those that I grew up eating—so it’s something I often share with my own children. I’ve always hoped that our family recipes would remain preserved and carried into future generations. It was a neat experience learning about Korean dishes I’ve never heard of—some that include familiar ingredients from Syrian recipes too, including pine nuts. Kimchi is a fermented food I’ve eaten for years, and now I’m inspired to make my own. I look forward to trying different Korean foods some day. Needless to say, I connected with this book on multiple levels.
People who’ve experienced the loss of a loved one or those experiencing grief now will likely connect with this book. The author does share the entire, detailed experience of her mother’s diagnosis and illness and what it was like for her during these times as her caretaker. She’s woven it all with memories of her past, which makes it incredibly emotional. There were some laugh-out-loud moments for me as well. I’d recommend this book because I’m sure everyone can take something from it.
Overall, Crying in H Mart is a moving memoir about the complexities of mother-daughter relationships, grieving, forgiveness, and the power of food and how it connects us.
5*****
Find this book on Amazon and Goodreads:
- Publisher : Knopf; First Edition (April 20, 2021)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 256 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0525657746
- ISBN-13 : 978-0525657743
“The Body is a Blade” from the album: Soft Sounds from Another Planet
“Boyish” from the album: Soft Sounds from Another Planet.
Thanks for reading my review of Crying in H Mart. Have you read this book? Do you like Japanese Breakfast? Feel free to comment below.
🧡 Mischenko
This sounds touching memoir with great cultural representation. Amazing review, Mischenko!
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It definitely is, Yesha. Thank you! ❤️
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Wonderfully sensitive review 💕
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Thank you, Cathy! 🧡
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How good was this book!!! I just finished it last week!!
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It was excellent, wasn’t it? I’m loving her music too. Just wonderful. ❤️ Glad you enjoyed it too.
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Well, I love food, so how she tied in food in remembrance of her mom….
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Me too, and being the last person in my family to carry on with some of our dishes from my Syrian ancestors, this was thought-provoking. It truly connected me on so many different levels though. Her experience is something we all have to face in some way and at one point or another.
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True. And how she worried that her relationship with her father would cease to exist without her mother as the glue
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Oh gosh, yeah that was sad. If you watch the video I shared “The Body is a Blade” she shares little clips of them. It’s sweet.
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I didn’t watch the video…husband working and I don’t have my headphones handy…😆
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Oh, do keep it in mind! I’ve enjoyed nearly every one of her songs. They have such an interesting sound. Worth a listen.
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👍
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This sounds so powerful on so many different levels. Mother – daughter relationships are definitely very complex and I love the significance of tradition and (or through) food. Excellent review ❤️
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It is, Tessa. Everyone will likely take something from it. Thank you so much. 🧡
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I don’t read many memoirs, but this sounds very poignant. I was fortunate to have an amazing relationship with my mother, also my best friend, throughout my life, but I know that is often not the case for others. Thanks for sharing the review and the music vids too.
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It really is, Mae, and I’m glad I didn’t miss it. It’s wonderful you had such an excellent relationship with your mom. It’s so important! Thanks for sharing that. 💜
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Oh, it’s so great to see your 5 stars. I don’t read/listen to a lot of memoirs, especially by individuals I don’t know but I added this one on faith a couple of weeks ago. Excellent review, Mischenko💜 I love that you had to keep putting it down because of the emotional punch.
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I hope it meets your expectation, Jo. I wasn’t familiar with her either, and I’ve been listening to her music ever since. Thank you so much. ❤️
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Amazing review intertwined with your own experience … your review touched my heart, Jenn!
I love the way you connected with the book and as usual, your thoughts are heartfelt. Simply fantastic. I am so glad you enjoyed this book 😊
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Thank you very much, Noriko. Memoirs are some of my favorite reads, and this one really touched me. I appreciate your kind comments. ❤️ Hope you’re doing well.
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Wonderful review! I’ve been seeing the cover quite a bit, but didn’t know anything about the book until now. It sounds like such a deep and meaningful read.
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Thanks, Lisa. It’s wonderful. I hope you get a chance to read it.
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Love this review so much, M. Really can’t wait to read this memoir.
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Thank you, Jen. I hope you love it. ❤️
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Amazing wonderful review!! ,
❤ ❤ ❤
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Thanks, Dee. 😉
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Memoirs are always so interesting aren’t they! You have to take notice when someone is willing to share such emotional parts of their lives.
Great post! I like her voice.
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Definitely! I believe writing this book probably helped her too. Thank you!
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Excellent review, Mischenko! You’re so right…we shouldn’t take family for granted.
We don’t know how long we’ll get to be with one another.
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Thank you, Laurie. I always try to remind myself of that. ❤️
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